but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
