Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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