i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
