well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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