Say something about gay babies.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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