why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
