this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
