I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
