I should be sponsored by Trojan
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
