I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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