Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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