Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize