So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Randomize
