Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
so much tequila, so little girl.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
