I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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