Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Come see our sink grown plant.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
