is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
