I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Randomize
