Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
