found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
