i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
