she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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