Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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