There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
