Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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