508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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