weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
