if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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