Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
