it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
