I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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