I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
