She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
