Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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