My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
