We got so high we made milksteak
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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