I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
