Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just blew my weed a kiss
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
