Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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