New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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