All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
