Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
