i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize