I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
