Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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