Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
