I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
