did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
