Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
