Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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