4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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