just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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