Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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