i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
