was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I can't turn off my feet"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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