I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he's gonorrhea incarnate
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
A+ Viking dick
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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