She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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