Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
