Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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