just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
