How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize