'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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