the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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