New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
