I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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