I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
