38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
